Communication, Communication, Communication

My childhood friend, Dudley, emailed me recently at work. We had lost touch, and he must have found me through Google. When I was in the 6th grade, Dudley moved away, and we began staying in touch through letters for much of our youth. I was definitely harder to track, because our family moved at least every three years. Then, I moved almost every year or two in college and my early career. Over our lifetime, we’ve lost touch, and then reconnected multiple times through Christmas cards, phone calls, and email.

Last year, I moved across the country from most of my longtime friends and family. When I was kid, with the exception of Dudley, that almost always meant the end of friendships. Kids did not usually write letters, and long distance phone calls were too expensive. A letter in the mailbox was a big deal. There are tons of friends who I knew for 2-3 years that I have absolutely no idea what happened to them. In contrast, today I receive some form of communication from friends or family across the country on a daily basis, whether cell phone call, text, email, facebook post, or even through twitter. Now, it’s almost difficult to lose someone, even if you try. When I was in television news, I used to keep track of what form of communication worked best for my sources and primarily contacted them that way: email, phone call, fax, mail, a personal visit. Now, I try to do the same with friends: some never check facebook, others hate to talk on the phone, texting is the best way to reach many, while some hate texts, email is often easier to check and respond to during the day, etc.

As someone who studied communication, I am constantly amazed at just how far we have come in such a short period of time. My friends now organize activities through facebook invites, evites, or group emails, with the often-entertaining, sometimes inappropriate “reply all” function. These same events would have required so much more pre-planning and organization not so long ago. Hundreds of my former students are now my facebook friends and stay in touch with me through this social networking site. A few months ago, I had a video chat with a friend from Alabama and gave him a live video tour of my new area. That is the type of technology from “The Jetsons” I never thought I would see in my lifetime. My current students often find it entertaining to Google me for information or images, and sometimes find things about me I did not even know were out there. (Side note: My friend is trying out a new pick-up line with Google-published business cards that say “Google me.” The same friend would say this article “dates me.” Noted.)

Of course, there are definitely problems with so many forms of communication. Addictions to facebook, texting, iPhones (guilty) and apps, twitter, and blogs are becoming a problem for young and old alike, taking time away from real life. Status reports, texts, emails, and tweets can all be misinterpreted without context and vocal inflection. There is occasional mis-texting or emailing where someone accidentally sends a message to the person being discussed in a negative light. You also never know whom your personal emails might be forwarded to in a very non-personal way. Bullying has grown to epidemic proportions on the Internet, as well. In a landmark court case, a jury recently found a woman guilty of accessing computers without authorization in a case of cyberbullying that led to the suicide of a 13-year-old girl. The incident began as a cruel joke on MySpace.

Even with all the non-verbal forms of communication out there, I still prefer a one-on-one, face-to-face conversation any day. Ironically, as someone who has been paid to speak publicly my entire adult life, I can still often find it difficult to express my personal thoughts and feelings verbally. Then, I end up following up with an email, because I am not even sure if I said what I meant to say. Sigh.

After re-connecting a couple of weeks ago, Dudley and I became facebook friends. Look how far we have come.