A Continental Divide

The past year has been difficult for my mother. She has been dealing with a medical problem that has multiple doctors and specialists stumped. It has left her tired, frustrated, and confused. Then, her youngest son decided to move to California, the exact opposite side of the country from her home in North Carolina, despite her heartbreak and protests about this major move. She feared I would not have the help I needed during difficult times without family and long-time friends nearby. She worried that I would not be able to help her when there is a real need. She also has an intense fear of flying that she knew would make visits difficult. She was concerned about the high cost of living increase without much of a raise in my teacher’s salary. While California is where both of her sons were born, she has no desire to live there.


So, how do I honor my mom on Mother’s Day, the year that I am one of her biggest problems? First, you need a little history about Mom and I. My mother carried me for ten months. I was almost TWELVE pounds at birth. Seriously. She has a legitimate claim that I am the reason for many of her medical problems. My father served on Navy ships and traveled a lot for the majority of my childhood, so much of the time my mother filled the roles of both parents. As a family, we moved almost every three years. In many cities, my mother was the one real friend I had for extended periods of time. She was always the biggest supporter of everything I did no matter what.

So, the decision to move so far away was extremely hard, especially knowing her sadness, disappointment, and frustrations. For me, it was a dream that had to be investigated and an answered prayer. I had been praying for an opportunity to move back to the beach, a work environment where the arts and my elective area would be strongly supported, and a church community of young adults where I would grow in my faith and be encouraged. If you had asked for my number one choice of a new city to call home, I would have said San Diego. Except for a few bumps, bruises, and surprises along the way, it’s been an amazing journey. God has been extremely faithful and provided abundantly in all areas of this transition, but one of the hardest parts has been living far away from my family.

Even though Mom was struggling physically and adamantly opposed to this move, she rallied and helped more than I can begin to explain. I would not have been able to pack up my home, move across the country, and set-up a new place in San Diego, in such a short period of time, without her and my father’s help. They both really helped make this last minute, major life change possible. The support was an awesome display of unconditional love.

So, on this Mother’s Day, I publicly reissue a promise I made to Mom a long time ago. Back when I was first a published writer, I wrote: “She has always been there for me, and I will always be there for her.” No matter how much a plane ticket costs. No matter the cost of gas or the state of our nation’s finances. If I have to, I will go in debt to make my way from the West Coast to the East Coast to be there for her when she needs me. Even now, in the toughest time in our relationship, when I have made her cry more than ever before, she helped make my dream possible. That’s a really cool mom.